Positive Thinking

Recently I have decided to work on my positivity. I am a positive person but you can always be more positive. I will let you in on a little secret though, I wasn’t always positive. My positivity is something I worked on throughout my journey. Something that helped me do that was my favorite TED Talk by Shawn Achor. In this talk, he talks about the power of positive thinking and some things you can do to start thinking more positively. So going along with my new motto of making my life extraordinary, I am following through with the 5 positive changes: 3 gratitudes , journaling, exercise, meditation, and random acts of kindness. Although I have been only doing it for a few weeks I can see how these changes are effecting my thinking.

1. 3 Gratitudes: Write down 3 new things you are grateful for each day for 30 days. This will cause you to realize all of the great things you have in your life. It will also cause you to start thinking positively because you will need to start looking for things to be grateful for. At first it was easy to think of things like friends, family, and all the stuff most people are grateful for. Soon though, it gets a little harder and you have to really think of new things like the warmth of the sun on a warm summer’s day. This will make you start to appreciate the everyday things we often overlook.
2. Journaling: Journal one positive experience you have during the day every day for 30 days. This will make you relive the positive experiences you have and train your brain to look for the positive experiences throughout the day. When I first started this it was kind of hard but as I kept going it got easier. I started to look at my days differently and rethinking about my experiences to look at only the positive aspects. I know I needed to journal, so I make sure to look for a positive experience.
3. Exercise: Not only is exercise good for your body but your mind as well. Exercising releases a lot of feel good chemicals in your brain and makes you feel good. It can give you more energy and help you relieve stress. It will also makes you look good and as I always say, when you look good you feel good.
4. Meditation: Honestly, I was not quite sure how meditation was supposed to help at first. In the video Achor states that it allows you to focus on the activity at hand and slow down. This is true but I also use it a different way. I meditate in the morning after my workout. While I meditate, I think about the day to come. I envision great things happening and all the positive experiences that I will have. This allows my day to start on a good note and begins my positive thinking process.  
5. Random Acts of Kindness: Do one random act of kindness a day. Write someone a positive email, give someone a random compliment, or pay for someone in line behind you. This will allow you to make other people smile and smiles are contagious. The happier you make other people the happier you will become.

These are the changes I am noticing after just 2 weeks of doing these brain training activates. They are helping me to become a more positive person. So if you are looking to add some positivity to your life give them a try. You do not need to do all of them. Just do the ones you can fit into your life. Any amount would help. If you change the way you look at things the things you look at will change.

Advertisements

Another New Year, Another Resolution

The New Year is almost here. It fills the air with possibility and hope for the year to come. People are busy making New Year resolutions and returning all their unwanted Christmas gifts. As this New Year approaches, it is important to reflect back on the year that is passing. Reflect back on the goals you accomplished and the ones you fell short on. Reflect back on the changes you have made, good and bad. Reflect back on the people who have come and gone. Most importantly though, reflect on yourself. Were you happy this year, did you do great things, or was this an off-year for you? Based off the reflection you make about yourself, you will be able to set yourself up of a successful New Year. You will realize the characteristics you want to change about yourself and the ones you have already improved on. 

So many people make New Year’s resolution about things that want to change and improve in their lives. The unfortunate thing about these resolutions is that they fade away with the buzz of the New Year. People have so much promise and potential but life gets in the way. They get too busy to accomplish the goals they set for themselves at the drop of the ball in Time Square.

However there are those people whom, despite the struggle and complications of life, accomplish their goals. Why is that? I have a theory. Most people create goals for themselves under the guise of New Year’s Resolutions. This is an external motivator. It is motivation that comes from an outside source. It is similar to the way you feel after watching an inspirational video or hearing a motivational speaker. While the source is fresh in your mind you are motivated to become the person you have the potential to be. Once that source fades, so does your will to accomplish your goals. This is way as the New Year fades so do the resolutions.

On the other hand though. The people who accomplish their goals are motivated by something far more powerful that an external source. They have internal motivation. This is the motivation that makes you wake up one day and say, “Wow, I need to change my life.” This is the motivation that causes someone to get in shape so they are no longer tired after walking up the stairs. It is the motivation that causes someone to quit smoking so they can see their children get married. This is the motivation that makes some dig deeper while others give up. Yes, these internally motivated individuals may make these goals in the form of New Year’s Resolutions but they are more than that: they are life changers.

Last year I can easily say was the best year out of my life so far. It was filled with great people, good times, and amazing personal growth. I am going to use this as my internal motivation to make sure that I accomplish my life changers. I will make this year better than the last. I will become one step close to making my life extraordinary. I challenge you to do the same. Instead of just making a New Year’s Resolution, find your internal motivation and change your life.

My Guidelines To Finding Your Passion

In the beginning of this blog, my aim was to find my passion. Although it turned into something so much more than that, that is still one of my goals.  I have come a long way in this aspect of my journey but I still have some work to do. However, I have learned a few lessons along the way that could help in finding passion. These are those lessons:

1. Look at what you don’t want: If you are trying to find your passion but it is hard for you to pin point it, try to look at the things you absolutely hate. For example, one of my passions is fitness. This is something I know and can easily identify with. One reason I can see this so clearly is because I hate not being able to work out. If I am injured for any reason bad enough for me to stop working out, I go crazy. Maybe one of the things you hate is when people are suffering. This could mean you are passionate about helping others. Notice some things you hate and think about the opposite and how you feel.
2. Look at what you already have: I recently heard that there could be two reasons why you don’t know what you want. The first reason is because you already have it. The second reason I will get to in a minute (time may vary with reading ability). People always talk about finding their passion but maybe it is not about finding their passion just realizing that something they already do is part of their passion. 
3.  Stop doing something: One way to realize if something we are doing is your passion is to stop doing it. Sometime we may do something so much we just assume it is our passion. This isn’t always true. To figure out how important it is to you, stop doing it for a while. See how this affects you. Do you go crazy and feel less happy like I do with working out? Or are you alright not doing whatever it is you considered you passion? How would you feel if the next day whatever it is was no longer an option for you?
4. Don’t focus on things that are not important: This is the second reason why we don’t know what we want. We are so spread out doing so many different things that we cannot focus on what we really want. A good way to get around this is to learn to say no. You do not always have to do everything everyone asks you. Really look at your life and the things you are involved in. Are all of them important to you?
5. Explore all options: Knowledge is key. This is a way to gain more knowledge. Explore every option that you are even remotely considering. See what it is like and if you really enjoy it. Sometimes we get the idea in our head that we would love this or love that but the idea turns out better than the reality. Explore and see which is better.
6.  Evaluate yourself: I have found that this one is the most important: understand yourself. Look to see when you are at your highest point and when you are at your lowest point. For example, I began to realize that I was my happiest and most energetic when I was around others and making people smile. This was a good indicated about my passion for people and influencing them. Look at yourself and see when you are at your best. 
7. Fine Similarities: Review all of the things that are important to you and all of the things you do most frequently. Discover any similarities that they may have. You may have to go beyond the surface to find them but there will be some. This could lead you to the root of you passion.
8. Realize things change: You can change, your perspectives can change, and your experiences can change. This also means your passions can change. So if you don’t feel as strongly as you once did about something that is okay. You do not need to commit to one thing for the rest of your life. Well except your spouse, but that is a different story. However, just because it can change doesn’t mean it will and you can be passionate about something for the rest of your life (So don’t worry future wife!)

I am still figuring out the details of where I want my life to go and trying to decide which path is right for me but these lessons have certainly helped. They are things that I need to keep in mind for my future and always remember. Your passion can change you may have to discover it again. No matter what though, never stop the journey. Have you found any helpful lessons on your journey?

Feeling Uncomfortable

I want to apologize to all my loyal readers (mom I know you’re out there) for not writing last week. It was a combination of being a little busy packing and doing Resident Assistant stuff combined with the fact that I was not really inspired to write last week. I do not like to write when I am not inspired because the words don’t seem to come out right. Whenever I write a post and I am not really feeling it, I never like it. Have no fear though because I am back to motivate you and hopefully I won’t miss a day this summer but I am not making any promises.

So today’s post; I was once told that when you feel uncomfortable, that is a good feeling because it means you are growing. However, I usually- probably most of you as well- try to avoid situations that will make me feel uncomfortable. I have recently realized though that this is not good. I will never get past my weaknesses if I do not work on them. It is as if I am really bad at a sport but never play it because I am bad at it: I can’t get any better that way.

To further illustrate what I mean I will give an example. I have to be honest and tell you that I am a pretty awkward person in one on one situations. I know what you are thinking, it is hard to believe, I had a little trouble believing it too but it’s the truth. I am not like this with everyone, there are certain people who I am find around. However, put me with someone I do not know very well and there is sure to be a lot of awkward silences. Because of this, I usually tend to avoid situation where I will be one on one with someone. Whether it is going to dinner with someone or walking to class, the awkwardness can strike at any point. In order to get past this awkwardness, I need to put myself in these awkward situations and expose myself to these experiences more.

The more I expose myself the better I will become in these situation. I will learn how to fill the awkward silences and kept the conversation going better. I will never learn these skill if I do not put myself in these situation though. Think about yourself. Is there some skill you need to work on that you avoid using so that you do not feel uncomfortable? Maybe you are not good at talking on the phone, or maybe you do know how to be funny, or most commonly you aren’t good at public speaking. Isn’t that strange?  I am fine with public speaking, one of the most common fears among adults, yet put me with one other person and I don’t know what to do with myself.

Anyway, my point is how do you expect to get better in any situation whether it be a social situation, a sport, a computer program, or anything else that you would need a skill for unless you put yourself in situations where you need to use and improve that skill. I challenge you to make yourself feel uncomfortable. Stepping outside you comfort zone is not only about taking chances and experiencing new things, it is about growing as well. Every time you step outside your comfort zone it grows a little bit. Join me in expanding my comfort zone by expanding your own as well. Yes, it’s probably going to get awkward and you bet you will feel uncomfortable but remember; life goes on. The awkward and uncomfortable moments you have now will just turn into funny stories to tell your friends later and they will most likely do you more good than harm. So go out there, be awkward, get uncomfortable, and expand your comfort zone.

Going With Your Gut

I let you guys down again by not posting in a while. I really have to stop doing that, I know. However, my life has been very busy right now (not trying to make an excuse but if you if read this you might understand). In the past week I went through a major learning experience. I tried something new and it did not work out. From the beginning I was unsure about the whole thing but sticking with my motto of saying yes to life, I did it anyway.  Although it didn’t work out, I still learned a lot from the experience. I only want to focus on one lesson for this post: sticking to your gut.

In life we are faced with so many choices every day. A lot of these choices are mundane and do not really weigh on our conscience very much; however, sometimes there are big choices that we know have the potential to change our lives. My experience was one of those choices. Either way I went would have a drastic effect on not only my college years but the rest of my life. Much like every other aspect of my life at this point, I was unsure of what I should do.

A lot of people we telling me I should do it, not pressuring me but just giving their input.  I looked into it more and decided to give it a shoot because I did not want to miss a great opportunity. I soon found out that was not the right decision. As I went through the process something wasn’t right. I could feel it. At times I should have felt nervous excitement; I had a pit in my stomach.  This experience just did not feel right for me and deep down I knew it.

Despite the feeling in my stomach, my brain was still unsure of what to do. However, it might not have just been ambivalence that was in my brain but fear. I was afraid of changing my decision and regretting it forever.  Once I changed my decision I could not go back.  In the end though, my brained listened to my gut. I stopped doing what did not feel right to me and it felt good. It has only been a few days since I stopped but I can feel the change in my thoughts and demeanor. I have no animosity toward anyone that was involved in my decision; in fact I meet some great people along the way. The fact of the matter is some things just aren’t for everyone.

Yes, there still is a chance that I could regret not going through with it but I do not believe that will happen. I don’t believe I will regret it because I know that it was not for me. Something felt wrong deep down and I know that this was the better decision. I have grown so much in the past year and I am really getting in touch with myself. I know what is important to me and what my values are. This is why my gut knew what decision to make and I am sure yours does too.

Maybe that is the first step to making a big decision in life: listening to your gut. I am sure it is not always going to give you such a clear sign like it did for me in this case but you have to listen for it. It Before you make a major decision, do a gut check. Ask yourself “is this what I really want and how much am I will to put into this.” Although I can’t remember a time that I did it, I feel that if you go against your gut, your values, who you really are; you will not be happy and you will fail.

Has there ever been a time when your gut was trying to give you an answer in a certain situation? Did you listen to it or ignore it? How did it turn out?

Defining Success

When you look at the picture above what do you see? I am going to guess you said plant seeds and if you said apple tree seeds, give yourself 2 extra points. However, if you said apple tree you get the grand prize (there’s not really a prize sorry). These seeds have the potential to become great trees with time and effort and this is why you should see a tree and not just seeds. This is similar to how our visions can come true if we put time and effort into them.

I got this idea from Eric Thomas, who is one of my favorite motivational speakers. I was watching a keynote speech he gave back in January and this was one of his main themes: to have vision. You will not succeed in life if you do not know what success looks like to you.

After listening to him I realized that this is why I am lost right now. I have so much passion and energy, so much drive and determination, but I do not have a vision of where I want it to lead too. I know that I want to be successful and I know I will not stop or quit until I am but I do not know what success means to me yet. I do not know when I will know either.

I am still changing who I am every day. If you asked me a year ago if I wanted to work with people I would have said absolutely not but now I love to interact with people, even if it is just saying hello in passing. I just get excited every time I talk to someone especially if they are new to me. I say all the time that it would take a lot for me to call someone a creep because I welcome total strangers coming up to talk to me. This is just one example of how I am constantly changing.

With this constant changing comes uncertainly: uncertainly of what I want my future to look like. This also means I do not know what success looks like at this point. The only thing that I am sure about my future is that I want a golden retriever and I would prefer to live near the beach. I lack the vision that Eric Thomas talked about in his presentation. Although I will work my butt off to get what I want, I don’t know what I want.

This is why it is so important to have that vision and define what success looks like for you. If you do, you have something to work for; something that will make you say, “I am not going to give up.” And (I know you aren’t supposed to start a sentence with and but I like to be a trend setter) once you have that vision you can’t give up on it because if you don’t give up, you can’t lose.

Today is the day I start defining my success. I will not get past this point and find my way in life if I don’t. Although I may have already known this, it wasn’t as clear as it is to me now. I challenge you all to start defining your own success. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what point in your life you’re at because we are constantly changing which means so is your definition of success.

How do you define success? What are you doing to do today to reach it?

The Power of Words

Words are one of the greatest tools that humans have. They have the power to communicate meaning, display emotion, and influence the thoughts of others. However just like most tools, words can be used as a weapon of sorts. They can attack someone mentally and influence someone in a bad way.

The other day I found myself in a different state of mine. I like to think that I am usually a happy, positive person but the other day I was not. I was feeling drained and bummed out. The reason for this was the words that were around me. The person that I was around was so negative. They cursed all the time and just were not pleasant to be around. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, if they want to live that way they can. However, it just brought my whole mood down. This made me realize just how powerful words can be.

The words we use not only affect other people’s moods but they affect the way other people see us. For example, if you want people to see that you are a happy person use happy words. Use the word happy; use the words fantastic, beautiful, wonderful. If you want to inspire people use words like inspirational, motivational, encouraging. The more you fit your vocabulary to the image you want to have for yourself the more people will see it.

Just remember through, with great power comes great responsibility. This is why we need to choose our words carefully. No matter what the situation is – whether you are upset, angry, overwhelmed, or any not so pleasant emotion – you have to make sure you do not say something that you will regret. Make sure you do not say something that will hurt someone else, affect their mood negatively, or that will ruin that image you want for yourself. The thing about words is that they are very powerful but once they are said you cannot take them back.

Think of yourself as a speech writer. The speeches you are writing are not for some presidential candidate but they are similar. If the president says one thing out of line in his speech, that is the only thing that is remembered from the speech. This is true for you. The image you build up for yourself can me ruined by one poor choice of word which will be the only thing remember (unless you are a professional athlete, then it will be forgotten once you start playing good again). So always construct a speech for yourself that you can support and be proud of.

Have you ever use the power of words to influence, motivate, or inspire someone is a positive way? Have you ever choose words that did fit the image you wanted for yourself? How did you handle it?